Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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