I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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