im gay
i know
yea but for you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
