Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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