you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
two words...techno handjob
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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