let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
