Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i may or may not be watching the land before time
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
