Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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