is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
