try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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