dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
