Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
