My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
