How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
