i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Floor bacon is actually really good
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
