I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
