I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
