can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
