My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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