ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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