so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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