Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
birth control should be required to get into college
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
