I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
