nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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