I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
