You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
