how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Do vagina's smell?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Alive.
So much puke
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
did you just send me my own nude
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
