You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
