I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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