they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
