Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I got inside last night via doggy door
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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