You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
