whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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