i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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