i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
that's an acceptable place to lick
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
