you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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