Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
