As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think I am morally bankrupt
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
