I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
