You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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