you guys were way drunker than both of me
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
