I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
