Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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