you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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