I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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