i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
