his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
