One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
