Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Someone came in the potted fern
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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