I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
